Are We Victims or Just Human Beings?

I have been an educator for almost nineteen years now. As many fellow educators can tell you, I too have witnessed a changing of behavior within education, but that behavior-change is seldom from the students. This may be a bit surprising to the average reader, but most educators will tell you that children still act as children always do when they first began their careers. Children make mistakes often. Children try very hard to do what they have been taught. Children often mimic the behaviors they witness at home. Many times, the behaviors children reproduce line up with our expectations at school. However, there are also times when a child’s behavior does not line up with how they are expected to act at school. On these occasions, a student is typically redirected according to school board policy, which usually attempts to do what is best for the common good. So, if the children haven’t changed much, where then is this change many educators witness and more and more are beginning to publicly decry? The change is in how some students are being parented.

Nineteen years ago, most parents accepted the very real fact that every one of us (children included) choose unwisely. In fact, it was common knowledge that wisdom was often learned over time, and due to the fact that children haven’t been on earth very long, they usually weren’t very wise. When children would make unwise choices at school, most parents understood that their child did something inappropriate and that incorrigible behavior required discipline. When discipline was given, that guidance was typically supported by parents as a means to help direct their own child from unwise behavior toward wise behavior. Children from impoverished families and wealthy families alike would make bad choices. Children who have struggles occurring inside the home as well as children whose home-life is fairly stable would make bad choices. Children with disabilities and children without disabilities would make bad choices. Both male and female children would make bad choices. Children whose parents were married would make bad choices; so too would children who come from a broken home. In fact, all children, regardless of their environments would make both good and bad choices, and parents by-and-large accepted this fact. However, educators are witnessing a growing trend where parents no longer are acknowledging their child as choosing to act unwisely. Instead, when foolish choices are made, some parents now argue that their child’s unwise choice was made because their child was a victim. “A victim of what?” you might ask. Well, anything. You get to fill in the blank. They get to fill in the blank. We all get to fill in the blank. It is unfortunately becoming more common to hear parents making excuses for their children rather than agreeing that their children do what they have always done, which is make bad choices at times. They don’t always choose unwisely, but when they do, parents more and more are finding reasons why their child’s unwise choice should be excused. If, as in years before, discipline was/is given to help guide a child towards wisdom, why then would parents resist actions that result in their child being held accountable? Are parents really desirous that their child continues in tomfoolery? The answer should be and likely is for many a resounding “no,” yet educators are witnessing this trend across the nation. Why? I posit the idea that Americans have become so socially engineered toward being a victim, they have lost grasp of the splendor of accountability. Simply put, if a child (or adult for that matter) is held accountable, they no longer have to be a victim. But modern Western culture has glorified the victim, so giving up that “status” is deemed as inappropriate.

Americans are bombarded today with information. We are informed of some sort of opinion when we listen to the radio in our cars, when we read a text, while reading something on the internet, when we see and hear programming on the television, while we’re at school or work, and even in simple conversation with a stranger. Heck, we even receive information when we are alone on a mountain top just observing nature. Regardless of where we find ourselves in life, we are constantly receiving information. We can’t help but be informed, and since the human brain is always collecting information, we must then ask ourselves, “What information should I accept and what information should I reject?” While I cannot make any decision for any other person, I would encourage everyone to reject the idea that they are a victim, and this opinion is coming from a man with cancer who refuses to view himself as a victim despite the cultural pressure to do so. Why?

Because we have been sold a lie and many are living out their lives according to this lie. When we arrange our lives around a lie, we cannot logically arrive at an accurate destination: a faulty premise always yields a faulty conclusion. Even within the industry of education, many believe that there are no longer any “bad” kids, and what I mean by “bad” is simply children who have a human nature that often defaults to unwise choices. No, many now believe there are only victims of something – anything – but their own incorrigible behavior. There are far too few rebukes of a child because American households have been lied to. They were told by behavior professionals like B.F. Skinner that environment and “nurture” can determine how a child acts. This is a myth that does not line up with scripture, nor does it align with reality to an objective observer. If behavior modification can be done providing the correct environment, then we need only to look to the Fall of Adam and Eve to realize that this idea is absurd. Adam and Eve lived in the perfect environment, were parented by the perfect parent (God), yet they still rebelled. They were not nurtured unto sin; no, it came naturally. There is something about the right to choose that affords one the opportunity to choose either wisely or unwisely. That right to choose is a fundamental component of being a human being, and since it is solely our obligation to make a choice, we can never claim to be a victim. Sure, others can make unwise choices that result in some sort of harm or injury being done to us, but we always have the ability to allow it to affect us negatively or positively. Sure, there are even times when something may happen to us where no one has made an unwise choice, but we still have the obligation to either allow it to be used for good or bad.

For instance, when I developed cancer, I could claim that I was a victim of a disease. No one gave me cancer. As far as the doctor’s have stated, I didn’t do anything to “give” it to myself. I can’t blame a perfect God for giving an imperfect “gift” either, as that is illogical. As a cancer patient, I can choose to fight it. I can choose to succumb to it. I can choose to wallow in self-pity. I can even demand special treatment from others with the reason being that I am some sort of victim. I can also choose not to demand special treatment by others, get up each day and do what is expected of me, and allow my cancer journey to be an inspiration of positivity for others struggling with the same problem. You see, cancer (or any disease), other person-caused harm or injuries, or even negative things we believe happen to us “by chance” are all part of living in a fallen world. No one is a victim. They are simply a human being, and bad things often happen to human beings because of human nature…both ours and someone else’s.

Rather than preening in pride, casting harsh judgments, or wallowing in self-pity or unwarranted guilt, we instead need to cast aside the myth that incorrigible people are this way because they are a victim. That’s not a popular take, but the Bible wasn’t written to win a popularity contest. It was written to give us God-breathed truth. Alternatively, we should embrace the truth that every one of us comes from a fallen race and therefore are born with a sin nature. This sin nature can be influenced by parenting and one’s environment, which is what “behaviorists” like B.F. Skinner were attempting to convey, but behavior always comes down to choices made. When a child chooses to make a bad choice, they don’t need excuses. They don’t need “drive-by guilting.” They don’t need to be placed in a position where they must dwell on their choice. Sometimes all they need is a spanking and some love along with a little guidance. Every time, however, they need the truth, and the truth is that they will deal with a sin nature and its consequential bad choices until the day they die because they were born into this fallen human existence. The only hope to sometimes (but never “always”) overcome that sin nature is to be reborn and given a new, righteous nature. That can only be done supernaturally.

However, no person can go back into the womb and be reborn, so how is rebirth possible? Fortunately, the answer was given to us in God’s Word. Since only God is the author of life and thus birth, God himself must grant a person the gift of that new, righteous nature, and it can only be accepted as a gift of grace. No person can work for it. No amount of money can purchase it. No one can “do” something for it. No one can earn it on merit for the simple fact that our inherent sin nature automatically disqualifies us from meritorious righteousness. Simply put, being born into the human race by default disqualifies us as righteous. That’s a tough pill to swallow, yet it is still a pill and it has to be swallowed. The only way we can receive God’s gift of righteousness is spelled out for us in Romans 10:9 of the Bible. We must “believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and we will be saved,” which is to say we are given that new rebirth unto righteousness. Even when we accept this gift, we will still make bad choices and screw up because that is part of being human. However, the punishment for those sins were laid onto Jesus when he died on a Roman cross. It was his work 2,000-plus years ago that paid the penalty of eternal death for our sins. He knew no sin, but he was made sin for us. We simply have to accept his gift to the human race of eternal life. A failure to do so has temporary earthly consequences and permanent eternal consequences.

Due to being born into the human race, all of us are already condemned because we inherit an unrighteous nature. We call this unrighteous nature “human nature” most of the time. The Bible calls it “sin nature.” Regardless of what you call it, we can do nothing ourselves to change it. Sure, all of us have tried something to alter what comes naturally…some try positive thinking; some see a psychologist; some use an addiction to “escape” it; many simply deny their inability, but the bottom line is we are what we are. A slow runner can trip every one of his competitors so that he wins a race, but that still doesn’t change the fact that he’s a slow runner.

When Jesus rose from the grave three days after being placed there, he defeated death because sin could not hold him due to his righteousness as the God-man. Through his conquering of sin (and death) by dying a substitutionary death in the place of all humans, all humans now have the opportunity to accept his gift. That gift was the fact that he left heaven and came to earth as a man (this is the celebration commonly known as “Christmas”), lived a perfect life that only God could do, died in the place of all humans as a representative for all humans, and rose from the dead (thus defeating death itself) and went back to heaven in order to mediate for us on our behalf despite the fact that we were already condemned to our human nature by being born as humans. (That’s a long, deep sentence, so you might want to reread it.) Only the sacrifice of a perfect God-man could be the appropriate payment for mankind’s plethora of incorrigible behaviors. While each of us has the breath of physical life in our lungs, we have the choice to either accept Christ’s gift and gain a new life based on his own righteousness, or we can reject it.

Since we are de facto condemned sinners because we were born into the already-condemned human race, we remain condemned if we reject God’s gift. And since part of Jesus’ perfect character includes justice, he has the authority to judge the race of people for which he came to die. During the judgment every one of us will one-day face, we can stand before him on one of two platforms: If we reject his gracious offer of his own righteousness, we then face God on our own merits, but keep in mind that those merits have already been condemned. If we accept his gracious gift and believe in his work on earth and in heaven on our behalf, we are credited with his righteousness, and his righteousness could never be condemned because it was perfect. While on earth, we have no means to “work” our way out of our own condemnation because sin is part of our inherent human nature. We therefore require a savior, and there is only one man who ever lived perfectly on earth and defeated sin: the God-man, Jesus Christ.

Thankfully, God has given each and every one of us the opportunity to make the choice of either agreeing with Christ or rejecting him. No one gets a free pass because of their last name. No one is denied this opportunity because they weren’t born into the “right” family. Every single one of us has been given the opportunity to either accept or reject Christ specifically because we were born into this world as human beings, and Christ died as a human being. He did not die as an angel. He did not die as an elephant, bear, or peacock. He died as a representative of the human race, and all humans therefore are given the opportunity to choose eternal life because of his defeat of sin and death.  This is exceptionally good news!

Yet, we can also choose to reject him, and a rejection of Christ results in us being judged on our own merits against the perfect standard that Christ lived. The choice belongs to each of us. It is yours-and-mine and yours-and-mine alone. Mom and dad can’t make it for their children. A spouse cannot make it for their “better half.” We are responsible for our behavior, and we all know our behavior isn’t perfect. Because Adam and Eve were created into a perfect environment, lacking nothing, and reared by God himself yet still sinned due to having a human nature, we should then be able to conclude that even the best environmental attention can’t address our deepest need. We are all effectively “bad kids.” Our incorrigible behavior is not because we are a victim. No, it is because we are a sinner, born into a sinful race that by nature, sins. And as a result of our own sins, the sins of others, and the fact that this earth was cursed because of sin, bad things do indeed happen to us. We can become victimized, but we are never victims.

“Victims” are never given a choice; however, God does thankfully give us the choice of accepting Christ or rejecting him. We are also given the choice when we are victimized to take our unfortunate consequences and either use them for good or evil. No matter which choices we make, due to the very fact that we are given the opportunity of choice, we can never claim to be victims. We can instead choose to remain in our natural human nature, or we can choose to accept God’s gift to us and receive a new nature. As long as we are alive, God will work on changing those incorrigible traits we all have but often learn to hate. Ultimately, our physical bodies will one-day die, and then we will all stand before a perfectly righteous and just God. Those who chose to accept Christ as their savior will stand before God with Christ’s righteousness received as a gift. Those who chose to reject Christ as their savior will stand before God as they come into his throne room – as unrighteous people who tried their best (or didn’t) yet failed to live up to Christ’s perfect standard. Those who chose Christ already inherited eternal life and will be rewarded for any behaviors that were done to glorify Christ. Those who rejected Christ also rejected eternal life and therefore will be judged. The judgment for any and all sin (including rejecting the Holy Spirit’s offering of Christ’s righteousness to each and every human being) is eternal death. Since God is holy and cannot allow anything corrupt or sinful to dwell in his presence, and since he never forces his will upon us, those who choose stand on their own sinful merits are given what they chose and cast into hell for eternity. Those credited as righteous due to Christ’s work on the cross and the acceptance of his free gift of life are invited to live with Christ for eternity in heaven.

Now we can return to my original thought of how parental views of their children have changed. The irony of this far-too-common reality is that some parents are making an unwise choice to view their own children’s unwise choices as a result of being victimized. If this parental premise is true, then what has happened to the parents for them to have also become victimized by having children who are incorrigible at times? And if they were indeed “victimized” by having victimized children, can educators now claim to be victimized by having to deal with victimized parents whose victimized children are under their care too? This kind of madness could go on ad nauseum simply because the very premise is misplaced. Parents are not victims; they are simply parents of human children. Children are not victims when they make unwise choices; they are simply human children. Teachers are not victims because they care for children who sometimes make unwise choices; they simply have human children under their care. The true premise is that all humans are born with a sinful, human nature and that sinful nature that we all live with does cause us to make unwise choices at times, many of which do victimize others. That is the root of the problem. Parents aren’t at fault. Children aren’t at fault. Teachers are not at fault. Being human is by nature faulty, and that faulty nature is what has to be dealt with first in order to manage all subsequent behavior. Until this is addressed, all other remedies are just external bandages on internal wounds.

We do indeed have a choice to change our inherent natures, but it can only be done supernaturally, and it can only be done one way. Truth is narrow. There are many degrees of falsity but only one degree of being correct. We need a new nature, and only when we receive that new nature are we able to overcome what comes “naturally,” which is sin. The parental change in mindset isn’t because moms and dads want to choose unwisely. It is because parents have lost sight of truth over time and believed the cultural deception that when their child does something unwise, it is a result of some external factor. It’s not. It’s really the internal factor that we all attain by being born into the human race. It’s simply sin nature. That is what first needs to be addressed in all of us. Once the root of the problem has been altered, we can then get to the very real need of assisting those who are victimized in life.